I had a moment the other day – it was new years day, I was out for a run (which is often when I do my thinking) and I was feeling lack of inspiration about the new year. Normally I love the new year, I love a fresh start, a way to step from the old to the new, to start again and hit refresh. It is the best time to reflect and set new intentions. You get it, you’ve heard it before. But this year I was struggling with “what do I want this year to be” questions. I didn’t want to make a to do list, I felt no inspiration for newness and forming habits and the stuff we typically think about at this time of year.
What came to me is that I already know what to do to make me feel great, I know that new habits and new ideas and new things is actually not what I need. I just simply need to do what I know is best. I need to remember the things that work for me – a bit of exercise, a relatively clean diet, sitting on my butt and mediating each day, oh and breathing. Simple stuff. Nothing fancy or revolutionary or new. Same old same old. This stuff works.
I realised that it is actually easy to always be focused on what we want to be different, but it is much harder sometimes to be ok with what is. My incredibly insightful man pointed that out to me recently “baby, why are you always wanting to change everything all of the time, why isn’t it enough just as it is?” Smart man that one. And he had pointed out something in me that really resonated – and if I am honest hurt just a tiny bit (he has a wonderful habit of pointing out the things I need to notice in a loving yet honest way). He was right, I am always focused on improving and shifting and changing. It’s part of who I am. It’s how we are now conditioned so I am guessing I am not alone in that one.
Being ok with who we are is actually really fucking hard. Not wanting to change, or do more or be more is seemingly not natural. When in fact, we don’t need to change – we have everything right here and now. We are complete just as we are. We just forget. I want to remember that this year, I want to rediscover and reconnect to all of the people, places and things that are about that. Nothing new. More of the same. But more of the good same and less of the not so useful same.
So no new years resolutions, but really about the 3 re’s – rediscover, remember and reconnect. Although you could argue that in itself IS a resolution. No lists or vision boards or purpose statements this year. Everything I have is right here. I just forget sometimes. Lucky I have a special man to remind me.
I hope you find what works for you this year.