Certain themes appear in your life, they can be subtle and sweet or smack you on your arse kinda style. Others just come in waves and are like a blurry image of lasts night dream you just can’t seem to grasp. And then like the blurry dream, they miraculously emerge to clarity. Crystal clear like it happened last second. What was once hazy and unknown, becomes embedded in your conscious with stark reality.
There has been a theme for me that I have been unable to completely grasp onto, like the remnants of that dream, I know the rough edges, I know the overall story, but the details, the colour, the sounds, the smells are like a jumble of images in my mind. And then, like the fuzzy dream, it came to me.
I have been feeling for awhile that following your dreams, is another way of saying, your life sucks right now. That the words development and growth are teaching us to always want to be bigger, brighter, better versions of ourselves. Hell, I have even been pushing that cart. I have lost count of the vision boards, life purpose sessions, manifesting, day dreaming, list making, pondering, google searching I have done in my life time. I am the queen of questioning, self development, soul searching and defining my dreams and going after them. Quitting your day job, backpacking and living in India for nearly 2 years are not things you just for the hell of it (or maybe you do one could argue).
I use all of these tools and techniques when I am coaching – what do you want in your life? How could things be different for you right now? How will you shift from today to tomorrow? We are constantly focused on, and lets face it, surrounded by how to change. For some time though, I have had this nagging feeling, deep down in the pit of my stomach, that something is not quite ok with this. This constant focus on tomorrow leaves us forgetting about today. This forward thinking and manifesting our dreams is awesome, but what do you do when you are having a shitty time, your life is not all brilliant and bright and rosy. We are supposed to sit and dream of a perfect life or manifest our troubles away?
So this brings me to my realisation. It was while reading the ever beautiful words of Pema Chodrun –
“Trying to change ourselves doesn’t work in the long run because we are resisting our own energy. Self-improvement can have temporary results, but lasting transformation occurs only when we honour ourselves as the sources of wisdom and compassion”.
In my words, enoughness.
We are enough, we have everything we need right here and now. We don’t need to change, we don’t need to be more of this and less of that, we need to simply accept and treat ourselves with the same compassion and love as we would our own child. So maybe it is also acceptance, but enoughness was what emerged from the murky cloud of my questioning minds haze.
It’s not to say we don’t dream big, or focus on our not so useful habits and replace them with more useful ones. But it is to start with where you are right now, wherever that may be, and rather than wishing for things to be different, for you to be different, that we honour ourselves as we are in this moment.