“I am not ready, I can’t do that yet….”
How many times have I heard that response, actually come to think of it, how many times have I myself uttered those little words. Seemingly harmless, apparently humble, yet in reality incredibly harmful.
My standard response to that is “so when will you be ready? Next week, next month, next year??” It is simply a way of playing our “I don’t believe in myself card”. Ever noticed that those people that are successful and living the dream don’t seem to have a whole lotta of patience for perfection? What I mean is, they are not sitting around waiting to be ready, to be perfect to live there dream, they are born ready and with the courage to take a leap. They back themselves and ooze self confidence and drive that most of us can merely admire, or even get a tinsy bit jealous of.
It has to be perfect, I have to be perfect. And then what? The gods sine down from the heavens and sky opens up and your planets align and then? We place so much emphasis on the perfection of people places and things as we have convinced ourselves, that only when it is perfect will I be truly happy.
Of course sometimes we can find that perfect pair of shoes, or bag, partner or ice cream and it gives immediate gratification. In reality, the gratification, just like the perfection is short lived. Ever had a perfect partner that in a moment morphed into Atilla the Hun? Those to die for shoes? They end up at the St Vincents or garbage eventually. The bag becomes worn and torn and the perfection ceases to exist. The perfection departed.
Perfection is a fictional place that we create in our minds. It becomes allusive and inspiring, yet it can leave us feeling deflated, disappointed and outright down on our selves when we fail to reach our ideal of perfection. Alternatively when we feel that we are not ready to take that next step, to step outside our comfort zone, we are really waiting for perfection. For everything to be aligned and amazing and super start wonderful. Cue sweet birds and rainbow music, as we are now in a Disney movie.
The simplest solution to our perfection seeking minds is to stop and realise this very moment. To notice what we have, rather than what we don’t, to be ok with this moment right here and now. We can then also look at what we are holding back from, what we are waiting for and check to see if we are simply waiting for the moment to be right, to have more knowledge, to have a bigger bank balance or smaller waistline. Perfection is simply another form of attachment and holding a belief that there is something altruistic about perfectionism. I hate to break it to you, but perfection is simply an ideal, a concoction that is sold to us by the never ending external sources of “your life should be better” aka social media. But we can give up on the idea of perfection and start to be more with the idea that everything is dandy just as it is. That means I am ready now, so lets give it a go.
And when we do find that perfect pair of shoes, or bag or partner, we are smart enough to know that the idea of perfection is only a trick our mind plays with us and tomorrow it may just be Atilla the Hun.