I have been coaching again, and I am reminded of how humbling, inspiring and awesome it is. To be with someone as they explore who they are, who they want to be and how they are going to get there. It is for me one of the best jobs in the world. I am not sure the people I am coaching realise, but I get so much personally out of each session. I am reminded of the basic human desire to want to be the best we can be – no one intentionally sets out to suck at something. I am also reminded of how more often than not, we get caught up in how we should behave, doing things that other people will admire and we are so busy being something we are not that in the process we forget who we are.
Of course we all want to use what we are good at and do it more – as it is usually a lot more fun when we do. We also know that sometimes, actually most times, in order to succeed, we need to take a step outside our comfort zone and do things that might make our palms a bit sweaty, our breath quicken and our stomach do flip flops. Or it could be we simply avoid those things altogether telling ourselves we just don’t see the importance.
The thing with coaching, it helps you become more aware of what is happening and how you can deal with it a way that is more successful than perhaps what you have done before. In essence, it is this awareness that becomes the key to moving forward. As once we are aware, we can change. Without this awareness we dwell in the often blissful world of sweet ignorance, the “that’s not really me” zone. The one we are in denial about what is going on around us.
Equipped with awareness, you can start to tackle so many things in an entirely different way. However, one of the themes I am seeing recently is that people are often aware of how they are supposed to behave. I will say that again so you get it, aware of how they are supposed to be. What is missing in this? you might ask yourself. We all have bosses and partners and friends that have expectations of us and of course we begin to shift and mould our personality and behaviour to meet those expectations. It is how we humans often interact and behave. Throw in social media and the fantasy of the cyber world and we become so conflicted with information we try to be all things to all people and to fit the mould of our community. It is easier that way.
What happens when we do this, we begin to live in ignorance of the most important thing in our world. That is our true self. In that I don’t mean that in a warm fuzzy and out there kinda way, or even as the great Buddha taught about in regard to our essential true nature, I simply mean we are ignoring who we are in reality. The times when we are on our own in our comfy trackies with Vanessi Amorossi’s Shine blaring and we sing from the top of our lungs moments. You know the ones, we all have them. What happens to those moments of truth, of complete freedom, of those times when we do not care? We cover them up in other people’s expectations and our well worn belief that in order to succeed in this world we have to be different from who we are today.
The reality is, the moment you let go, you surrender all of the expectations and beliefs about who you should be and start being clear about who you are, what you really want, what it is that makes your heart sing – it is in those Vanessa Amorisi moments that we need to connect with as that is when we come from a place that is honest. Coming from this place, of truth and freedom and bare naked honesty, we drop the conflict in our worlds and the negative self talk. We become ok with simply being ourselves, as being you is actually enough. Maybe we don’t start wearing our trackies to work and singing Shine, but we can at least come from a place of truth rather than expectation.