What to expect when you are expecting

So there is this thing with planning and goal setting and dreaming big, it is an amazing process to do and to actually give yourself the permission to start. (Most of us don’t allow ourselves the “indulgence” of dreaming as we are too busy keeping it real). But when you do, let me tell you, it is an incredible process to go through.

The thing with dreams, in order to make them come true – and they can – you need to have a plan. There is no use in simply asking the universe, writing them on a wish list or sitting under the light of the super moon hoping to meet the man of your dreams. You need to DO something about the dreams, otherwise they stay just that.

The thing is, once you start to dream, you start to plan you start to carve out our path it is exciting, it is invigorating, it is empowering. Things start to happen and you start to see shifts and changes. It is awesome.

And then one day something doesn’t quite go to plan. The dream job may not turn out to be so dreamy when you are working 12 hour days – the cute boy at the gym that you have spend a whole year over finally asks you out and he turns out to be a complete moron, or something completely unexpected gets thrown in your path. Unexpected. The death trap of dreams.

Unfortunately like the saying goes, shit doesn’t happen, life does. Things will come across your path that appear to be monumental obstacles and barriers. They are not what we were expecting so they come as a surprise, throw us off course, kick us when we are down and make us question our very being.

There is no easy way to deal with some of the things that life dishes up. My beautiful friend that recently passed sure as hell do not expect a year ago that she would not see 40. No rose coloured glasses can really see the positive in that one.

When we build expectations there is a 50/50 chance we will be disappointed. We can be calculated and careful and hedge our bets, but eventually there will come a time when we are served up something that we were least expecting. There is no easy way out of that one, when you expect something and it doesn’t pan out the way you would like it, you ultimately are left disappointed. Its a numbers games really.

So what to do? You can either go through life expecting to be disappointed, which trust me is not a useful approach, you tend to attract people and situations that simply validate your beliefs – or you can try, and I say try, to put yourself out there with all the hopes and dreams in the world but with out the attachment to things being a certain way. Letting go of your dreams does not mean not doing anything about them, it means in fact the opposite. Set your dreams high, your wishes and plans out there. But then let go the expectation in what will then happen. Not only will it help burden the blow of disappointment, but it will keep you open to the unexpected. And that is where surprise can enter the scene, and things get a whole lot more interesting.

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