It’s not me, it’s you.

Usually I am the first person to suggest that when there are things going on around you – people pissing you off, things not going your way, basically agitation levels are rising – that you hold a mirror up and check inside to see what the hell is going on. We are a projection of our own minds, what we put out we get back, and it is our own shit that comes back to slap us in the face.

If we are all acting as fancy little holograms, there is also a point that we need to acknowledge that we are in fact taking on other people’s shit. Our friends “advice” on how we should lead our lives can be triggered by their own jealousy, our loved ones kind words of what we should do differently can be driven by strong attachment and the harsh words or actions of people quite unknown to us can be simply they are having their own bad day.

For sure we take on things differently depending on what is going on inside. I have no doubt in my mind that my mood determines how I take on the narky shop assistant or the not so wonderful person who points out that “most intercultural relationships fail” (you could of just said congratulations when hearing of my engagement).  We also project out our fears, our neediness, our insecurities and our attachments.

There is a point where we need to check in with ourselves, see what has hit us and hurt, and then also recognise that other people have their shit, and they loooove to share it (aka dump). This constant checking in process keeps you aware, in contact with your own shit, but it also helps you filter out other people’s fears/insecurities/beliefs/attachments or whatever it is that is their thing. If we all project out, of course we are going to come into the cross fire from time to time. It all comes down to what we do with their shit. Do we take it on or do we see it as what it is and let it go?

On the flip side, we can become like Wonder Woman (or Super Man) and start deflecting other people’s comments and actions like a super hero, making sure none of it even comes close to us – but in reality that is called denial. It is important to still acknowledge that we have been hurt, hell, we all have ego’s, but it is also important to call it when you see it – I don’t need your shit thanks, I have enough of my own.

So how do you tell who the shit belongs too? I have a favourite from a  dear friend, if 1 person pisses you off it’s them, if the the second person does for the day, be on guard, and if there is a 3rd then for sure it is you. Does it happen to you? Share in the comments your favourites 🙂

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