I am not sure about you, but do you have something deep inside telling you can be more than where you are today? A lurking feeling you were put on this planet to achieve great things? Well, I am here to tell you, you are bang on. You are on this planet to achieve greatness, but what is stopping you from being there now?
It might sound really dumb, but really the biggest obstacle in achieving your greatness is you. I know, you can come up with every excuse under the sun – you don’t have enough skills, knowledge, cash, credibility, courage, ability, fit enough body, time – blahdy blah blah blah. I know all the excuses, as I am a pro at convincing myself of all the reasons why I can’t, or why I won’t be successful, happy, loaded – you name it. I am the queen of story telling. I say stories as they are nothing more than that. An old and worn out story that we have woven into our mindset and convinced ourselves that it is in fact who we are.
We tell ourselves, or rather we believe, that we are not enough, we don’t deserve greatness so we behave in a way that validates our own beliefs. We don’t want to be wrong about our stories so we construct scenarios that do nothing more than prove our beliefs. Sounds ridiculous, but we are not even aware that we are doing it. Take the work scenario – you really want a promotion, but deep down you are afraid you are really not up to it, you will fail at it anyway and you don’t believe you are worthy of such responsibility. No matter how hard you cover that deep dark secret up, it will ooze out of you at any given moment. You might hesitate when you speak to your boss, you may second guess yourself or find you can’t make decisions. All of this leads to you sending a signal you are not up for the challenge. Your behaviour is driven by your underlying beliefs about your ability.
Whether you like it or, how you see yourself will be how others see you.
When you are dreaming big and pondering all the amazing things you want in your life, you need to first check in with yourself. What are the beliefs I have about myself? Do I honestly feel I deserve that big promotion/dream relationship/awesome business opportunity? If you hesitate rather than yell hell yeah, then maybe it is a sign to check in with your self. By this I don’t mean what your head says, but rather what is in your heart. This is the time to have a good hard look at yourself in the mirror and be brutally honest – do I really believe I am worth it? If that is a tough question, or your bottom lip quivers, or your heart rate increases or you want to run, then perhaps you have not fully accepted how unbelievably awesome you are and that you do indeed deserve everything you dream of.
We are often programmed to think we need to be humble, if we want something and feel we deserve it we are deemed “arrogant” or pushy. Bugger that – we all deserve happiness and joy and success. And we can all have it. But it starts with us and how we view ourselves.
We need to believe in ourselves if we want others to, we need to love ourselves if we want to be loved and we need to see our own potential in order for it to shine.
If you find you are struggling with some limiting beliefs of your own, try these simple tips.
1. Come back into your heart – practice the inner smile meditation. (You can try this one I have pre-recorded for you for free)
2. Practice non-judgement with yourself, no categorising right/wrong/good/bad. Things are as they are.
3. Write a list of all your achievements – imagine your 5 best friends are in a room, what would be the things they would say they love about you?
4. Hang out with some people who see your greatness – they can always remind you of how awesome you are if you forget.
5. Daily affirmations – this may sound weird, but practice looking yourself in the mirror and saying “I love you!!” It feels pretty strange at first but if you need to get used to loving you.
6. Sit ups – yup, our core is the centre of self belief. Do some old school crunches every day and see the shift in the mindset.
I would love to hear your typical story you tell yourself….drop it in the comments below. Or if you have a great tip for breaking the cycle of negative self talk, please share!