Following on my from my last blog past, I thought it was relevant to look into some of the reasons why we don’t live the life we dream of. What stops us from actually getting out and doing all that cool stuff we only dream about. There are many reasons (aka excuses) for why we don’t take the plunge. So lets take a look at the most common and more importantly what you can do to combat them.
1. Not possible – we don’t believe that what we dream about is actually possible. We convince ourselves that we need to simply accept life the way that it is and that dreams are merely dreams – something to long for but never really have. These ideas can come from deep seeded unconscious beliefs of not feeling we deserve greatness; of thinking awesomeness is for other people; or we have had our creative little self beaten out of us and have a story around we can’t.
2. The “F” word – fear is our biggest enemy when it comes to living a life we dream of. It stops you in your tracks, tells you will only fail anyway and convinces you that safe and secure is easier. True, safe can be easier, but it can also be boring. Read more about dealing with fear here. The thought of failure can be crippling, but think about this, Thomas Eddison tried 10 000 before he had success with his invention, do you think he stopped because of his fear of failure?
3. Busy little bees – we fill our worlds with so many things that we never seem to have time to start that project, take that holiday, write that book, or do what ever it is on our bucket list. Being busy is an excuse. You control your day, your diary, how often you check facebook, watch tv, what time you get up each day. You get the point.
So what to do? How can we combat these challenges and begin the journey of transformation and change? Here are a few tips to get you started:
1. Sit and think about your dreams, your big goals, your bucket list agenda. Ask yourself – What is stopping me from starting? Allow the answer to come, don’t try and get all fancy and have a thesis written, just go with what ever presents itself. You can then look at it – fear, self doubt, feeling unsupported – look at the reality. What can you change? Who can support you?
2. Check your beliefs – do you really feel you deserve success/love/greatness? This is a tough one as our logical mind will scream “of course!” But sit with it a bit, be gentle and go inside for the answer. Try writing out 10 things you wish for and notice what your inner voice says in response. e.g. Who do you think you are? You don’t have the experience to do that! No one will love you! Allow whatever it is to present itself. Now its time to have a reality check and make a list of all the amazing qualities you have and why you do deserve to live your dreams. Put this list somewhere prominent and remind yourself every day – “I am awesome, and I deserve awesomeness!” If you struggle to come up with ten, ask your besty.
3. Prioritise and plan your time – take control of your distractions and avoid the “can’t be bothereds”. Map out your perfect day, look at limiting TV to your favourite program each week (and don’t turn it on otherwise) or better still, sell the TV, schedule your internet time, plan your social calendar and plan down time.
Don’t be tough on yourself, but most importantly be honest. If you are putting off something, look into why, give yourself some tough love and a kick in the butt and just get out there and do. Take one step as it is better than none at all. Surprise yourself and start today, dreams can become a reality but you need to take action towards making them happen.